good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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