it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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