Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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