Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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