you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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