i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
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What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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