maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
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If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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