miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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