this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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