2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize