I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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