Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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