you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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