Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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