I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize