wanna go halves on a baby?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize