just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
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