Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize