you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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