I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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