forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize