It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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