there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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