End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize