If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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