Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize