Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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