you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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