I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize