she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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