did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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