considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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