no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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