yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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