i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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