like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
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You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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