I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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