So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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