i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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