I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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