There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize