At least make sure they are 18
Why
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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