Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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