Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I am morally bankrupt
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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