i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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