Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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