Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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