yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize