just tell him i said nine months
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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