I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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